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But in today's technology-driven world, meeting, staying connected, and getting intimate has never been easier or more dangerous.Biochemical research has shown that the effect of these love chemicals is twofold: they are released in response to your friend, and they bond you to him or her.This is especially true of women who produce higher levels of oxytocin -- the bonding hormone that enhances the feeling of having found your "soul mate" connection.You may love your friend, but you don't fantasize or daydream about him or her. If you're having intimate talks and sharing things you should only be sharing with your primary partner, or you're sending late night 'just thinking of you' flirty texts, you're not having just an innocent friendship.If you find yourself having sexual or romantic fantasies about your friend, you've crossed the line into emotional sex.Pretty soon, you find yourself glowing every time you spend time with this person. Any contact with the person becomes as potent as a drug addiction.All those tingly feelings and the fantasies that perhaps a "perfect love" can really exist isn't destiny knocking -- they're caused by "love chemicals" in your brain.
You become friends with the sexy co-worker and decide to carpool to work together. You're married, or engaged, or you're in a committed relationship. Emotional sex is a friendship that escalates into something that feels the same as romantic love and can manifest itself in numerous ways -- physically, romantically, emotionally, lustfully, verbally, or virtually.
You become "friends" with an ex on Facebook and reminisce about the past. You spend hours thinking about them and your heart races whenever you see a text from them. You tell yourself it's ok because you're not really cheating, you're just chatting. Friendship becomes emotional sex when the feel-good brain chemicals and hormones that are released when even thinking about that person take over.
Letting go of such intoxicating nourishment seems unimaginable.
A platonic friendship doesn't have elements of sexual chemistry or attraction. In contrast, emotional sex is much more secretive and it drains energy from your primary relationship.
You may argue you're just Facebook friends, or you're just innocently flirting and it means nothing.
But no matter how you may rationalize it, these are huge trumpet blaring warning signs that your friendship Infidelity is as old as civilization.