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This is often misconstrued as a level of desperation where we are just looking for anyone who is attracted to us in return.The truth is that apathy and disinterest are not exactly things that will attract us to a woman, so naturally the opposite is also true. We are accustomed to being the ones who have to show interest, especially at first. Behavioral extremes indicate a power play is being employed. Once we have the ability to see hot and cold for what it is, we're less likely to suffer its negative effects. It's long been the rule that when dating someone whose behavior is marked by hot and cold reactivity, you're standing on shaky ground.Because women aren’t the ones who should follow it – That’s right, but don’t take my word for it, there are studies to prove it.While women are more attracted to men who tend to play it cool and show less physical interest in them on a first date, men are “Men who perceive women to be interested in them rated the women as more feminine and sexually attractive.This is the core thinking of the partner who initiates hot/cold, and serves as their safety net to vulnerability. Because relationship uncertainty makes human beings yearn for stability.
We are not usually approached by women and are sometimes left guessing about how they feel about us. We want to be desired and we want to be confident that the interest we have in a woman is reciprocated, so we know we are not setting ourselves up for heartbreak.
If we feel that a woman enjoys our company, has a good time with us, and is attracted to us, we are more likely to show similar interest in her. So if you are interested in a man, “Women may think the men are trying too hard to win their affection and get them into bed.
They also showed more interest in having long-term relationships with the responsive women than with the nonresponsive women.” Now, as a man, this is not news.
I can already tell you that if a woman shows interest in me, I will be more interested in her.
Or, women may see responsive men as eager to please, or even desperate,” Birnbaum said.
One minute you're high on the warmth of their attention, the next minute you're frozen out and left wondering what happened. Whether you call it push/pull, on/off, or hot and cold, the end result is the same. Whether done consciously or unconsciously, this type of behavior activates longing and pursuit. If we don't understand the game of hot and cold, we can find ourselves pulled into a drama of confusion. Understanding this type of behavior is crucial even for those of you committed to not playing games.