Dating in the french culture
French guy: “A car yellow.” American guy: “A yellow car.” What about how they ask a girl out?
A Frenchie will not “ask you out.” Or if he did, you two would just be together side.
There’s this idea that everyone’s all free-love in France, that everything isn’t treated like it’s a big ordeal, so everyone is more romantic (and intimate) without the hangups. Love is definitely a happy and open subject in France.
Most of the time it’s the result of friendships, trust, respect and desire.
MR’s resident French girl, Laura, has covered all sorts of topics from our end: the right way to order wine, the myth (or truth) that French people hate ice, brunch, Tinder and the universal problem of getting kale stuck in your teeth.
This time, however, with the topic being a bit more…complicated…she enlisted the help of two companions: an American man who is gay and single, and a French woman who is in a relationship with an American man.
In NYC, however, it feels like a difficult and heavy topic.
I hear American women say this a lot: “Don’t worry. (That means Define the Relationship in case it’s not translating, and it’s the most dreaded talk a couple has.) This is hilarious.
I can’t really find a way to explain how we “DTR” in France, because we don’t. Is there as much pressure in France to be in a relationship? Is that the reason why people can’t find a boyfriend? I truly believe in timing, and I think that “fast loving” (inspired from fast food and fast fashion) created new guidelines in NYC. Nonchalance in every subject is the national sport. It’s not until they talk to an American friend and realize, “Ho! ” American women would never think they just went for a “casual dinner with a friend” — until they speak with a Frenchie: “Ahhh…I thought I was on a date.” Last question: French kissing. Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and God what belongs to God. Americans know how to speak English with no accent.
You’re either together or you’re not, and you figure it out alone. I think it depends on the stage you are at in your life. So what’s a single girl to do if she’s sick of dating and wants a relationship? Someone might see you loving yourself and be jealous. (I’m half kidding.) Remember that everything I told you is just a theory.
Meanwhile, Americans ask you to “have dinner.” But is this an “I am asking you out”-type of question, or is it, “I am hungry, let’s go eat“? Is it annoying to date French guys here in America since you moved out of France? This is like asking me if it is annoying to eat croissants in New York.
I came here for the bagel adventure, but I hate cronuts.
What’s the difference between French Guys and American Guys?
The French guy puts the adjective after the noun; the American guy puts the adjective before the noun.